We Were Wrong…

We Were Wrong…

Marion Aldridge

As I matured as a Christian, I reflected, long, often, and sometimes sadly, even painfully, about much of what I believed as a youngster, and into adulthood. Because my doctrines, my ethics, and my habits have sometimes undergone enormous changes, there may be those who are presumptive enough to wonder if I lost my faith.

Quite possibly, I lost your faith. I found my faith. The Bible calls these transformations “repentance.” Here are some of my confessions:

WE WERE WRONG to believe that science and God could be enemies. Truth is truth wherever we find it.

WE WERE WRONG to assume uniformity in thought or action was better than independence or creativity.

WE WERE WRONG to accept what our culture taught us about racial segregation and the supposed inferiority of black people.

WE WERE WRONG to believe that we could somehow obey the Great Commission by paying for and praying for missionaries to go to Africa while ignoring the Great Commandments, disrespecting the African-Americans who lived down the dirt roads from our churches. We were either unaware or didn’t care that they often drank polluted water, had leaky roofs, and had no indoor plumbing.

WE WERE WRONG to believe that a glass of wine on Thanksgiving would send someone to hell but that it was okay for the preacher to be 100 pounds overweight and continue to stuff his face with fried chicken.

WE WERE WRONG to believe that people in other denominations who paid attention to the Christian calendar (Pentecost, Maundy Thursday, and Ash Wednesday, for example) were somehow less spiritual than Baptists who built their church calendar around secular holidays (such as Mother’s Day, Memorial Day and July 4).

WE WERE WRONG to believe we could be comfortable and Christian at the same time.

WE WERE WRONG to believe the primary thing that Jesus or the Christian faith cared about was Heaven and Hell.

WE WERE WRONG to believe that somehow America was the Kingdom of God.

WE WERE WRONG to believe the assumptions of our secular society, that bigger is better, that might makes right, that getting is better than giving.

WE WERE WRONG to believe that highlighting a few isolated verses could sum up the Bible, as if God could be contained in a bumper sticker.

WE WERE WRONG to trivialize prayer, as if getting all the things we want is the point!

WE WERE WRONG to believe God intended to silence the female half of the human race.

WE WERE WRONG to assume other people could practice the Christian faith on our behalf: pastors, missionaries, youth ministers, and social workers. When was the last time you got to know a welfare mother or a drug addict?

WE WERE WRONG to say there is only one biblical way to focus on the family. The family of Abraham looks different than the family of Jesus, which looks different than the family of King David, which looks different than the family of Mary and Martha, which looks different than the family of Esther and Mordecai.

WE WERE WRONG to think that Roberts Rules of Order, rather than the Bible, is the primary guide for working out disagreements in our churches.

WE WERE WRONG to teach (or imply) that talking, telling, and preaching, was more important than listening. The great sin of the Old Testament, according to Roy Honeycutt, was “They would not listen.”

WE WERE WRONG to let bullies, blamers, gossips, and other spiritually unhealthy people dominate the conversations and the decisions in many of our congregations.

WE WERE WRONG to think that repentance was primarily for non-Christians outside of our churches instead of for those of us inside. The more I know about Jesus, the Bible, the Christian faith, and the Holy Spirit, the more I know I am called to change, to repent.

WE WERE WRONG to believe that any tradition, law, bible, preacher, program, building, doctrine, convention or any other part of creation—even if God made it and blessed it—could possibly be as important as the Creator.

This, by the way, is the short list. I could write a book!

I have always been a loyal kind of guy. For decades, I hung in there, as much as possible, with the ecclesiastical world I inherited. I knew racism was wrong, however, and one by one, I began confronting the errors and inadequacies of my childhood experiences. I am grateful for the church of my childhood, for my family, for the appropriate lessons from my South Carolina culture. But I am also grateful I had permission to continue to grow, to get un-stuck from the habits, behaviors and beliefs of my childhood and adolescence.

(Four years ago, I wrote this column for the newsletter of the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship of South Carolina.)

Categories: Faith/Spirituality, Family, Health, Holiday, Lists/Top Ten, Race, South Carolina | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

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13 thoughts on “We Were Wrong…

  1. Diane Reeder

    I too am grateful for the church of your childhood where we had our spiritual foundation, then to stand fifty years later at the front steps of a church where you had just led worship, two elderly friends excited about and sharing their love of God.

    • Diane, All I need to make my day is to see your name. We were blessed to have the experiences we had. You were a bright and wonderful part of my life through high school. Church, Young Life, and Campaigners. I guess we must have stayed in touch some in college because I remember setting you up on a date with one of my Clemson roommates. I was jealous of him. Thanks for being my friend for these 60 plus years, I reckon. I moved to North Augusta in the third grade, so we were eight years old. Wow!

  2. The sad part is that so many in the church are still wrong and haven’t grown. You mentioned race, but I think politics is an even more invasive malady these days. What will it take for his people to truly seek the will of God?

  3. The CBF church I attended (Kathwood Baptist) had a major impact on my faith journey. The pastor (Kevin Roberts), the music director (Burt Purdue) and the saints in the pews, especially those in my Sunday School class, opened my eyes to the possibilities of a faith lived out day-to-day. Thanks, Marion, for being a part of that congregation. You and Sally are fondly remembered.

  4. The one thing I need to keep before as I grow older is, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness.”

  5. Dear Marion
    The Holy Spirit was never discussed in my Christian upbringing. However, I fully believe the Holly Spirit has brought me to a better place. I really enjoyed your blog.

  6. How powerful! To reflect on my own upbringing into faith, to hear “we were wrong” in a society which so easily passes blame on to someone/thing else. Thank you for such a beautiful Lenten challenge.

  7. Anonymous

    I agree with everything you say. Still and all – That church pointed me to Jesus, first, and then abandoned Him for all those other false gods. It was ONLY when I went back to the Jesus in the Gospels and determined to follow him that I began to see that I had been hanging out with some really bad dudes! I do not mean bad PEOPLE. I do not believe that I should try to get the bad people out of my life. They are the ones I am here for! I know it sounds trite. But it is not. By the way, I learned this lesson when I became a real, live Foreign Missionary, and was living in a GREAT foreign country (Chile) when I decided, firmly, that it WAS REALLY all about the Jesus of the Gospels. I could do all the Greek stuff and do it well, and do the Hebrew stuff pretty well, too. I was pretty well acquainted with the main trail and most of the side trails in church history. Since the theology element was so tied in with the church history stuff, I found that I could do that real good, too.

    It was when the college student-selling men’s socks in a local department store, a lapsed Catholic, asked me (I had on my gringo face and clothes) what in the world I was doing there, that I said, I am trying to get people like you help me find out who the Jesus in the Bible really is, and we meet in my house a few blocks away, and we meet on Tuesday evenings to figure it out. Wanna come? He said, Yes. And, he came. And he stuck with it, along with me. And THAT really started it. And that is what I have been doing the last fifty-five years.

    Wanna come?

  8. Angela Fullwood (formerly at New Hope Christian Fellowship)

    It has been an honor over the years to hear you speak as well as share your thoughts in your blogs.

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