Posts Tagged With: righteousness

Broken People

Broken People

Marion D. Aldridge

The idea that God loves broken people (drunks, sexual misfits, and those who fail to respect authority) was not part of my religious heritage. Instead, there was a focus on God’s scorn and punishment for those who fail. We gave lip service to God’s unconditional love, but being consigned to an eternity in a painful hell eventually began to sound conditional to me.

 At different points in my life I’ve heard that church should be a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints. I’ve been blessed by many congregations that understand their role as an infirmary for those who have been injured and wounded by life.

I’ve also seen too much of the polar-opposite where people are taught that God prefers the righteous, the pure, and the holy.

Recently, I read a book (This I Believe) of brief daily devotional thoughts written by laity, edited by Edward R. Murrow. It’s not a Christian volume in any way. The contributors, none of whom were theologians and few of whom were writers, were asked in the 1950s to pen a brief essay on whatever was central in their lives. Their answers fascinated—everything from music to hard work to freedom to baseball. I appreciated their variety. Lou Crandall’s essay, however, made me giggle, not that it was intended to be humorous. An engineering, architecture, and construction genius, Crandall wrote he liked the characters in the Bible for being “the closest examples of human perfection.” He added, “They were unselfish, steadfast in their faith, and unstinting in their help to others.”

I don’t know which Bible he was reading, but little of that is in the Bible I use. The complicated, often selfish, seldom steadfast, always surprising, human personalities in the Old and New Testaments include trickster Jacob, Rahab the harlot, impatient Moses, adulterer and murderer David, frightened Jonah, and impulsive Peter—and these were the good guys.

Years ago, I picked up a biography of a renowned Baptist leader, George W. Truett, a pastor during the first half of the twentieth century. As I read the first few pages, I realized the author had engaged in hero worship. Truett, in the writer’s eyes, was one of the greatest men who’d ever lived, beyond comparison or criticism. I put the book down and never read another page. Anybody flying that high above the rest of us could teach me little. When I read the stories of George Washington, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Anne Lamott, their humanity and their flaws are magnificently obvious.

Personal growth, I notice, happens most often where life is challenging and raw, when something is broken and needs to be repaired.

I never fully trust men or women who seem to have gone from victory to victory. I’ve heard advice that comes from some superhero pastors, tycoons, and authors, and it’s clear some of them know nothing about the world in which I live. They are Gold Medal Champions in life, whereas most of us are just happy to finish the race without embarrassing ourselves.

Once, when I was a young seminarian and the pastor of a small congregation in Louisville, Kentucky, my wife and I had a terrible argument while driving to church. Our words to one another were hurtful. When we arrived, we got out of the car, steam practically rising out of our ears. We went our separate ways, she to a Sunday school class, and I to the pastor’s study.

“What a hypocrite I am!” I thought as I tried to prepare myself to lead worship and preach. “What do you have to say to these people? You’re as bad as anybody else. You’re a fraud. Who do you think you are to stand behind a pulpit and preach God’s word?”

For good or ill, I preached. I couldn’t look at my wife. It was a short sermon, and the congregation was probably glad.

As time passed, I re-evaluated that Sunday, especially since there were others like it! Eventually, I decided an argument with my wife didn’t disqualify me from preaching. Being human qualified me! Being wounded, scared, and scarred—those are the credentials needed to be a good pastor.

It took me another five or six years as a minister to understand this basic truth. I’d gone to seminary intending to memorize answers to biblical or theological questions, to be indoctrinated, I suppose. The truth was I’d already been indoctrinated by twenty-five years in Sunday school.

What I began to discover as I matured was my humanity. The seed was planted for a better and different education than I had anticipated.

(This blog was originally published by Bearings Online of the Collegeville Institute. MDA)

Categories: Book Review, Faith/Spirituality, Family | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Mantras/Slogans I Use

I’m not sure the exact difference between mantras and clichés, except that mantras are a positive part of my life, refrains I find myself using repeatedly to help me move through sometimes-difficult situations.

Since some things broken cannot be fixed—an alcoholic parent, a narcissistic boss, “Accept what I cannot change” makes sense to me.

Clichés, however, tend to be trivial platitudes, used by bad writers and thoughtless politicians: “I’ll make you happy” or “Better safe than sorry.” Maybe, maybe not. Clichés seem to be for lazy people, willing to let other people think for them. When someone once told me, “God puts you on your back to make you look up,” I disagreed on two fronts. First, I don’t think God puts you on your back. Second, the fellow who recited this proverb appeared, at least to me, never to look up. They were just words, meaningless gibberish.

Mantras, though they also borrowed from others, become your own, after sometimes painful deliberation.

Here are mantras that make sense to me and that I call on occasionally:

  1. Accept what I cannot change.
  2. Be still.
  3. Blame is wasted energy.
  4. Breathe in. Breathe out.
  5. Do I need a new tool in my tool kit? If the old one is not working, Yes. (I like Dr. Phil’s, “How’s that working out for you?”)
  6. Fake it till you make it.
  7. Fear not.
  8. Feel what you feel when you feel it.
  9. First things first.
  10. Goal is progress, not perfection.
  11. A.L.T. (Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired?)
  12. Happiness is an inside job.
  13. Have a sense of humor.
  14. How to let go? Over and over and over again.
  15. I can be right or I can be happy.
  16. I didn’t cause it. I can’t cure it. I can’t control it.
  17. I don’t have to go to every fight I’m invited to.
  18. I need to focus on my issues, not on someone else’s behavior.
  19. Keep coming back.
  20. Listen. Listen.
  21. Live every day as if it’s your last.
  22. Mind your own business.
  23. My level of serenity is directly proportional to my level of expectation.
  24. No! is a complete sentence with no explanation or justification required.
  25. Nobody is a mind reader, including me.
  26. Not my will, but Thine.
  27. One day at a time.
  28. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
  29. Say what you mean and mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.
  30. Slow down.
  31. Take what you like and leave the rest.
  32. This too shall pass.
  33. Time takes time.
  34. What can I learn from this?
  35. Whose need are you meeting?
Categories: addiction, Faith/Spirituality, Health, Humor, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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